Slowly but Surely

Well, I am on week six of my physical transformation.  I started at 222 pounds and completely disgusted with myself.  This past Tuesday was my 45th birthday and my designated weigh in day.  I stepped on the scale and the number I read almost made me sick.  I have been eating right and exercising 6 days a week for 6 weeks so one would assume that the weight would just be rolling off, right?  So what did I weigh on Tuesday July 10?  218.8!!!!  I probably would have hung myself right there in the lobby of the YMCA if I had not noticed several other changes in my life and in my body.  Things like, I just feel better mentally.  Since I started working out, things that used to really bother me, are just not that important.  Or at least I don't make them as important.  Eating healthy has become a passion for me.  My wife says I'm militant, but I don't care.  I see the difference in how I feel.  Then there are my clothes.  My shirts are getting tighter in the shoulders and my pants are looser (is that a word?) in the waist.  I am beginning to see muscles that have been hiding for almost 15 years.  My kids only know an overweight dad.  Well, beginning in June of this year, I decided that they needed a new dad.  A dad that they could be inspired by.  Instead of having a dad that   tells them that  they can accomplish anything because they are awesome, they will have a dad that shows them that they can do anything they want if they work hard enough.  I will SHOW them that hard work and persistence will allow them to set their goals as high as their dreams can take them.
I finally decided on my triathlon.  On September 15, I will be competing in the Crescent Moon Sprint Triathlon in Aurora.  I will swim 500 meters, bike 12 miles and then run a 5K.  I get excited just thinking about it.  Although, I understand that most folks think I am insane, running a triathlon represents the culmination of my first goal in my physical fitness.  It represents starting out to do something and not quitting until I get it; something I don't feel like I have done in a long time.  If I inspire my family and just one other person along the way to set goals and achieve them, I will consider it all a success.  Have a great week!

One Day at a Time....

Today has started off well.  I got in a good workout and my swimming seems to be improving.  I still have a long way to go in a short amount of time to compete in my local triathlon in September.  I will get there though.  A lot of people have asked me why would I want to complete in a triathlon.  I keep telling them that it is the healthiest way that I am aware of to go through a mid-life crisis.  Tomorrow, I will turn 45 and I don't have the money to buy a sports car and I love my wife and kids too much to get a girlfriend!  I say it all in jest but it has got me to thinking, why am I doing this?  I am doing this so that my kids can see that they can do anything they set their hearts on.  I am doing this to motivate my father to get up out of his chair and move, so that he can see his grand kids grow up.  I am doing this for me, so that can show myself that I won't quit.  No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much I don't want to go to the gym at 5:30 in the morning to learn how to swim, I won't quit.  I have quit too many things in my life, but this time I refuse.  I will not let this challenge beat me.  I am in control this time.  Just go to Youtube and look up the Ironman World Championships in Hawaii.  There are dozens of stories about people that set a goal and finished.  People with no legs, people that are blind and people that others say have no business running an Ironman at their age.  These are people that would not quit and would not allow others to talk them into quitting.  There is even a story about a guy that decided to run the ironman after contracting Lou Gerrigh's Disease.  He knew he was going to die and he would not have the chance for long.  He competed, finished and the next year he watched the race from his wheelchair.  The following year he passed away.  These people motivate me.  Life has dealt them a blow, and they move ahead.  It makes me feel guilty that I would whimper about my job or money or any other insignificant part of my life.  This is why I will loose my weight, keep it off for the rest of my life and run a triathlon on September 9th.  I can do all things through Him, who strengthens me

Do you remember me?

Well, it has been such a long time since I posted on my blog.  I think about it a lot but, then I see a butterfly and away I roll.  Much has happened in the last 6 or 7 months since I wrote but so much of it was negative that I don't really care to rehash it.  I feel like I went into a bad place but I am back.  Since my hindsight is a perfect 20/20, I can see that what started leading me down that path was getting away from studying my Bible.  Works every time.  I fall away from studying and little by little things seem to start getting screwed up.  One conclusion that I came to is that I am fat and I am tired of being fat.  When I look in the mirror, I don't see it so much, but when I see a picture of myself, it really bothers me.  How did this happen?  When did all this weight appear?  Well, it was a long process.  A long process of eating garbage that is not good for me and a lot of hours sitting on my butt doing nothing.  What weight does to a person's self esteem is terrible.  Well, I am here to tell you that soon, those days will be behind me.  I am not a fan of dieting.  I hate Atkins, don't want to go to South Beach and don't even talk to me about your hot dog diet or some other crap that makes the weight just melt off.  Tell me about eating a healthy diet void of processed foods and sugar and tell me about what you are doing to exercise.  Other than on a couple Sundays and one weekend at camp, for the last month I have been eating right and working out 5-6 days a week  I enjoy it but was hoping that I would see more results by now.
So far I know I have lost inches because I am fitting into pants that I have not worn for years and tightening up my belt a notch.  I started off at 222 lbs and my goal is 195 by Sept 4.  Man, I have not seen less than 200 on my scale in years.  I will be celebrating this accomplishment by competing in the Xterra Pueblo Triathalon on Sept 9.  Swim 100 meters, bike 14 miles and then run 4 miles.  I have always wanted to compete in a triathalon but knew that there was no way I would live through it.  For the first time in my life, getting in shape has become something really personal to me.  It is not about how I look to other people, it is how I look and feel, to me.
By the way, this past Tuesday I was down to 217.  My next weigh in is July 10 and the goal is 210.  What a birthday present that would be!

Nice world we have created

I don't really blog on on any regular basis.  I just kind of do it when the mood strikes.  I blog as some sort of confessional cleansing progress. I am not really concerned if you agree with me or not but, I think that I am a pretty normal guy in terms of things that I struggle with.  I get a lot of comments; some good, some not so good.  It is never my intention to offend anyone but if I do, so what.  I don't mean that as harsh as it sounds but, right is right and wrong is wrong.  When I hear (or even make) an inappropriate joke, you may laugh, I may laugh, but it is still wrong.  Right is right and wrong is wrong. 
In the last several months, I feel like I have become more and more disillusioned with this world.  Every night in the news, it is nothing but child molesters and murderers.  Then I go to work.  Still there they are, child molesters and murderers.  I even see the department I work for and see the corruption, mismanagement of money and general indifference of many of those that I work with and work for.  Does that give me the right to just give up and give in?  After all, "when in Rome......."  It is so difficult to see the garbage that this world is producing and not give up my faith in humanity.  From world leaders to the man living out of a dumpster on the street.  Why have we just given in to our own selfish desires?  Is there anyone out there who cares about me?  Is there anyone out there who cares about you?
This all began with my morning reading.  I try very hard to read the Bible every day.  It is what gives me hope and starts my day.  I know that when I go to work, I am going into an environment that is negative and easily brings down many people's spirits.  Starting my day in prayer and the Bible, helps me get through that.  Although, every day is still a struggle, I know what my life was like before I got serious about following God and I never want to go back.  Anyway, this morning I was reading in 2 Peter and 1 John.  I came across a verse that was underlined so I know I have read it before.  This time though I felt like it jumped off the page and slapped me in the face.  1 John 2:6 says "Whoever claims to live in Him, must walk as Jesus did."
Man, for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks.  Right is right and wrong is wrong.  Jesus stood for what is right and was not deterred if people disagreed with Him.  Even to the point of death.  He rarely argued, he stated the truth, tried to help people, but then left the decision up to them.  He even told the Apostles that if they went into a town and were not welcome, "shake the dust off your feet" and leave.
Today my prayer is to always stand for what is right, never be afraid to voice my opinion, and then "shake the dust off my feet" where I am not welcome.  Time to go to work.

Comfort is Relative

It is amazing what you can learn when you just listen.  I have been on this Dave Ramsey kick lately.  I take that back, I have been on a getting things right in my bank account kick.  It just so happens that I agree with Dave Ramsey on how to do it.  I just got sick and tired of always being broke.  It had become a regular part of my life that I would end the month in the negative.  I was in the negative in my bank account and in many other parts of my life.  Is it just me or does money effect your mood, your relationships and your ability to be comfortable.  I decided a couple months ago that making cuts in our budget was the way to go.  Smartphone?  I don't need you!  Flip phones work just as well.  Home security system?  I just need to spend more time at the shooting range!  Satellite TV?  You must be kidding!  But wait!  Even with all the cuts, I still had no money left.  Then, at the suggestion of my new friend Dave Ramsey, and some prodding from my wife, I decided to make a monthly budget.  I started reading books from Christian authors that discussed the Biblical principals of handling money.  Well, November was the first time in a long time that I had money left at the end of the month.  $3.80 to be exact.  I was so excited!!! 
You know what though, this morning I was praying and thanking God for what He had done for me and BOOM!  Something came to me.  Everything seems to have been better this month.  My relationships, my attitude.  I have even been sleeping better (I am usually and insomniac.)  Is this all because of money?  Could it be that I have found the secret to happiness is money, after all?  Don't be an idiot!  Money has nothing to do with it.  Dave Ramsey says "God's way works 100% of the time."  God says "Commit to the Lord, whatever you do and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3.
I started handling money God's way and other things worked out.  Awesome!  My motivation could not be greater.  My new budget has allowed me to increase my contribution at church.  Come on God, let's see what  you got!

Thanksgiving for just one day?

I couldn't let a holiday titled Thanksgiving go by without voicing my completely unsolicited opinion!  This particular blog is dedicated to all my brothers and sisters of the "Occupy" movement.  I am thankful for you.  I am thankful that you remind me that working hard is rewarded.  I may not make as much as I think I should but on the last business day of every month, my employer thanks me for my hard work and dedication with a paycheck.  Every morning, I try to take just a few minutes and thank God for my ability to work my job and support my family.  When I get the opportunity, I thank veterans for the fact that I live in a country where through my hard work and their dedication, I can work in any industry I desire and worship God.
You, my friends of this "revolution" as I have heard some of you call it; are motivating me more than ever to pray even harder than ever.  I pray for you.  I pray for those people that are not as fortunate as you and I.  I pray for those people that make the decisions in our government.  I may not agree with them very often, but if you would read your Bible, you would understand that they are put in place by the will of God.  They are there to fulfill His will, even though many of us may not understand what that is.  He calls that faith. 
God tells me, "Kevin, you don't have to understand why I do what I do.  You just have to have faith that I want what is best for you."  My only real "job" on this earth is to trust Him and know that, in the end, God has a plan and when I follow His plan, it will work every time.  If I come up with a plan of my own, as long as it is in line with His will, it will work every time.  If you don't believe me, look up Proverbs 16:3.  If you don't have a Bible handy, look it up on biblegateway.com.
To my family and friends out there - I am thankful for every one of you.  God has brought everyone of you into my life for a purpose.  I pray that God blesses you beyond your expectations today and everyday.  Don't try to understand His plan, just have the faith to follow it.  I love you all.

Life is good!

Those that know me may be surprised to know that I have struggled with pessimism.  I seem to have always had a knack for finding the negative in most people and things.  My wife Karen has been instrumental (and patient) in working on this with me.  I really don't know when or where this all started but I have found that negative thinking is downright exhausting!  It is also a choice.  I have determined that I am going to make that choice every day from here on out.
We all have a choice, right?  I can decide to just sit back and wait for life to happen or.......I can go out and make it happen.  I am sick to death of sitting back,  doing nothing and then wondering why bad things are happening.  I don't keep track of my money and then I wonder why I have none.  I avoid maintaining my vehicles and then wonder why they break down.  I don't keep in contact with people and then I wonder why our relationship fades.  I don't study my Bible as often as I should and I wonder why my attitude becomes bad.  Why are humans (mainly me) like that?  I guess that is one more question I can put down to ask God when I meet him.
In the past few weeks I have decided that instead of trying to control everything (which has proven to be a waste of everybody's time) it is time for me to give up that control and let God run things.  After all, he has a couple thousand more years of experience at all of this.  I am involved with a Dave Ramsey "Great Recovery" class at church.  Dave has a saying that "doing it God's way works 100% of the time."  Now, you can call me stupid but those are some pretty good odds.
So, who's going to join me?  If you have a plan with better odds, please let me in on it.  I'd be happy to give it a whirl.  Also, if you are in or around Pueblo West on Tuesday nights, join some friends and me for the Great Recovery at the PW Church of Christ. (7 PM)